Yesterday was quite the busy day for me. After Relief Soceity, I had to meet with Brother Hendricks, 2nd counselor in my bishopric. I knew that I would most likely be released from my Sunday School calling (12 & 13 year olds). And sure enough, that's the main reason I had to meet with him. So unfortunately my last lesson will be next week. I was really sad that they didn't let me stay in till the end of the year, because I've had these 13 kids in my class since the begining of the year and I consider them "my kids."After releasing me from Sunday School, Brother Hendricks then proceeded to ask me if I would speak next sunday. Of course, release me from the calling I love, and then asking me to speak-how rude. I actually do like to speak. I especially love the preparation it takes.
Right after that meeting, the Stake YW's presidency had a training meeting with President Robbins (2nd counselor in my stake). He's such a great teacher/mentor and I throughly enjoy listening and learning from him. That meeting went on for about 2 1/2 hours. After that, I was able to go home for about an hour which I was grateful for since it was fast sunday and I was starving after a full day of meetings! I got to lay down for about 15 minutes before I had to get dressed again and go to my first Temple Prep class which I was anticipating the whole day.
After my training meeting, I had this overwhelming feeling of how inadequate I am. I just felt like I don't know enough, I don't study enough, I don't know if I'm worthy enough. All of these things kept running through my head. After going to Temple Prep with my awesome neighbors, the Burninghams, I brought that up. Am I reading my scriptures regularly, and I praying enough in order to enter the Temple. Ann Burningham brought up a good point to me: she said that if we weren't worthy to enter the Temple, the Bishop would not have allowed me to go to these classes, I wouldn't have had the intense desire to go. It reassured me that I'm not perfect and neither are the people that attend the Temple.
Lately I've been having these feelings of "I'm not good enough let alone, worthy enough." I sure it's just a natural human feeling that everyone has to experience every now and then. It just seems like everything is changing around me and I can't stop thinking about that. I also need to get a grip and realize that Satan does and will continue to do that to me. Life-it happens!
2 comments:
Hi Esther!!!!
I was so excited to see your comment. I love blogging. I've been able to get in touch with old friends through it:) You look great by the way. I really miss Bountiful. We have been living in Phoenix for the past 6 years. We really like it here. I'm excited to be able to keep in touch now!!!
-Dawn
thats completely natural, I felt the exact same way, but we have to remember we are not perfect and what better way to continue our growth than to attend the temple, once you are inside all those doubts and overwhelming feelings fade and you feel at complete peace, and we attend the temple to grow closer to the lord and gaining a greater knowledge, and of course to learn! so don't feel you're not worthy, its satans way of bringing us down. but good luck with your temple prep classes, and just enjoy the experience, there is nothing like it!
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